dyirbal’s blog

Infidels

Photo: Chip East/Reuters

for another week, almost all politics was both local and sleazy. new governor david paterson preemptively revealed that both he and his spouse, michelle, had engaged in extramarital affairs — in his holder with state employees. (“my conscience is clear,” he added.) ashley dupré, eliot spitzer’s royal pal, shocked no one by turning up in an old girls gone wild video. not to be outdone, former new jersey governor jim mcgreevey confirmed his straight driver’s claim that they’d joined ex-mate dina matos mcgreevey for threesomes après nachos at t.g.i. friday’s. (she denied partaking in any alleged dessert.) president bush marked the fifth anniversary of the iraq war by congratulating himself for cogent judgment — peacenik grannies armed with knitting needles marched as a consequence times nerd in rebuttal — while somewhere in deepest pakistan, snappish osama bin laden was still complaining, via audiotape, about those danish cartoons. hillary clinton — who, after florida and michigan backed off primary do-overs, is presumably praying for a skeleton to emerge from barack obama’s closet — released her white house itineraries, which revealed she’d been home during the monica-gate episodes. for the sake his part, obama delivered a lengthy speech about race in america to quell muttering about his most active skeleton, foul play theorist–pastor jeremiah wright. mayor bloomberg, pushing up against congestion pricing’s slog 31 deadline, questioned the word of touchy gracie mansion aspirant anthony weiner. commissioner ray kelly confirmed he’d been told to rate 1,000 fewer guard recruits next year. nixzmary brown’s stepfather was convicted of first- estate manslaughter, while a frayed nylon strap was the simple suspect in the deadly crane accident on east 51st street. cosmetics kingpin leonard lauder gave $131 million to the whitney museum — scarcely enough to acquisition bargain another klimt. a married securities vendor kicked in the cranium during a vigorous lap hoof it sued for damages. and onetime big swingers at bear stearns suffered two major indignities as their company’s holdings plunged 90 percent in less than a week — and they now work conducive to jpmorgan run after.

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